in about 14 years chet will be more then happy to sit on a couch with 6 girls.

but for now it is just kinda scary.

i'm off to arizona this weekend.

my parents are at their house down there so they invited us to come for a quick visit.

but matt can't go. he's too busy.

so i'm going without him. craaazy.

this is the first time matt and i will be apart by choice.

we were apart when i went into early labor and again when chet was born. but that is it.

5 nights apart.

soon to be 8 nights.

i'm sad he can't come. but i really need to get out of the house.

i'm going loopy being at home. all day. every day. blah.

i'm kind of embarrassed to admit this - because i only have one easy kid - but i find being a mom pretty tough.

i get frustrated, overwhelmed, and really sad at times.

and i think that being a stay at home mom is incredibly lonely and kinda boring.

i miss working. a lot.

i have asked a bunch of my friends, who are young moms too, their thoughts on being a mom and a stay at home mom. and it turns out that i'm not alone. every single one of them admitted that their lives aren't bliss - despite what their blogs imply :)

they get stressed and teary too. just like me.

i collected some quotes from messages that those friends have sent me recently. i initiated all of these conversations because i wanted their advice. and then i decided to collect the quotes for my own good - so that i could read them and remind myself that everyone feels incompetent at times.

but then i got to thinking that there must be other young moms who need to remind themselves of that too. so i'm sharing.

i removed any names, numbers, or genders from the quotes that might hint who wrote them. so don’t worry friends...no one will know it was you! and thanks friends, you are super.

one last thing before you read on - even though all of my friends said being a mom is tough, they also all said they truly love it. and i feel exactly the same way.

life as a mom is great and exhausting and hard.

it's hard.

the first year for us has been rough.

i am definitely trying to keep a positive outlook and i'm doing really well. but.... i definitely have my moments where i completely break down.

i struggled at first too. really struggled. i had thoughts of throwing my kid at a wall to make them stop crying or just leaving them somewhere. being a mom is tough and takes some adjusting to.

yes my kids are pretty fun and not very fun at times as well!

i do not consider myself a "good" mom

it really requires a lot of unselfishness - big wake up call for ME!

some days are pretty boring.

i try not to get too overwhelmed keeping up with all the other perfect moms, that's my advice. when i feel like a bad mom i just think about my kids, and hey i think they are pretty smart and healthy and cute so i must be doing something right!

i dont know how i am going to handle another. it will be insane!

we will have more kids one day. just not now!!

i think sometimes it would be nice to just be us again. just get up and go to the movies. watch what i want on TV. sleep in! but then i look at him, and hear him say 'mum' and i know i wouldn't change a thing.

i love him more than i could ever say, but some days..

sometimes you just want to walk away for a few hours....just to breathe. i know.

i know that staying home is right, but i am afraid that i'll lose "me" in "mom."

i do miss working. i loved working. i just felt like i had something to offer society (besides raising kids).

i look at my sister's in law and friends and they all couldn't wait to be done with working, so i was feeling a little guilty for having mixed feelings. i guess our job will pay in smiles instead of money.

i still don't have a solution....just a lot of prayer.

i was looking up talks on being a mom and i came across one by Elder Holland. he is my favorite speaker (if you are allowed to have a favorite..) so i read it. you can read the whole thing here if you’d like. or watch the mormon messages version of it here. this is just a tidbit of it:

“The very fact that you have been given such a responsibility is everlasting evidence of the trust your Father in Heaven has in you. He knows that your giving birth to a child does not immediately propel you into the circle of the omniscient. If you and your husband will strive to love God and live the gospel yourselves... if you try your best to be the best parent you can be, you will have done all that a human being can do and all that God expects you to do

You can’t possibly do this alone, but you do have help. The Master of Heaven and Earth is there to bless you...Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.

Rely on Him. Rely on Him heavily. Rely on Him forever. And “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope.” You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging.”

we were at the grocery store this morning and there was a class of kindergarteners getting a tour of the store.

they were so funny.

i was eavesdropping when they were at the meat department.

the teacher asked, 'ashlyn, what is your favorite kind of meat?'

and the girl confidently answered, 'hot dog'.

if her parents were there i'm sure they would have blushed!

i'm excited for chet to start talking. i can't wait to hear what his squeaky little voice will sound like.

but i'm sure he will have lots of embarrassing things to tell the world that prove how unfit matt and i are to be parents!

(just practicing for his upcoming st patricks birthday)

you know the show america's funniest home videos?

matt is a nerd. he could sit and watch that show for hours.

he finds way too much joy in watching others get hurt.

i think it might be a leavitt thing..!

it is so icy here. sooo icy.

warm days and cold nights have made rexburg a skating rink.

and yesterday i wiped out on the ice when i was out walking tank.

it wasn't super bad - it was night, no one was around, and i fell into a snow pile.

but still...wiping out on ice stinks.

i got home and told matt my story. all he did was laugh.

i should've known..

our long weekend was nice, but pretty uneventful.

we spent most of it debating whether we should celebrate presidents day, now that we live in america, or if we should should stay true to our canadian roots and celebrate family day.

ok, we didn't actually debate that.

we weren't even sure how to celebrate presidents day?

family day is easy - you just hang with your family.

and we did do lots of that.

we also watched lots of prison break this weekend.

we have watched it before - from start to finish.

but, due to lack of anything we love on TV, we decided to pull it out again.

i'm not usually one for re-watching shows or movies. but i'm shocked, and kind of embarrassed, by how little i remember from the first time we watched it. i guess my memory isn't as good as i think!

it is a great show. i am tempted to say that it is one of the best shows. ever.

is that too much?

the first time we watched it we got my parents hooked too. and they ended up pulling an all-nighter weekend to finish season one. that has to mean something!

michael scofield is so dreamy.

chet is dreamy too.

he is growing up so fast. it's fun to watch. he is getting more personality every day - he has a temper at times and he tries to be funny at times too.

he doesn't have a lot of tricks yet, but he does know how to wave at you.

he still only has one tooth. and it is a sweet tooth thanks to me.

he eats good. he sleeps good :).

and he never stays still, which makes church much less edifying! and usually lands him in awkward places.

he pulls up on everything. and is getting pretty good at using his walker.

if you'd like, you can watch that here. (warning: it's not super exciting and it's not great quality.)

here they are.. the FLAMING COMETS.

i say dave (just left of matt) gets the award for the best pose.

and the midget in the very front gets the award for the cutest.

matt has 6 siblings - 5 sisters and 1 brother.

his brother, mitch, has instilled in matt this strange love for things like mystical creatures, nature t-shirts, and chuck norris.

(depsite the picture that this might paint of mitch, he isn't weird! not at all.)

when we were heading down to BYUI mitch gave matt some special school supplies.

including this unicorn duotang/folder:

matt used this folder to hand in a big english project last week.

he proudly showed me his project the night before he handed it in.

i laughed.

i wasn't surprised, but i was a bit nervous that his teacher wouldn't share his humor.

today he got the project back.

and before the teacher handed it back, she lectured the class on professionalism. matt assumed she was referring to his unicorn folder as something 'unprofessional'.

but she wasn't!

i love the very last second of this commercial.

thanks papa murphy, but we can make our own heart shaped pizza.

happy valentines day everyone. (yesterday).

chet has always liked tank. but now he likes his food..

it's fun to play with.

it's fun to spill on the floor.

and it's even fun to eat.

yep. chet eats dog food.

we just got back from sunny utah.

well, it wasn't that sunny. but compared to idaho it felt lovely.

perhaps matt should transfer to BYU-provo?

our trip was quick. like 24 hours quick. but it was fun. we went to a BYU basketball game. and better yet, a BYU/utah basketball game. so not only did we got to see that jimmer dude everyone is talking about. but it was also nice and rowdy - just how a game should be.

we bribed some people into watching chet for us while we went to the game - thank goodness!

our initial plan was to take him. but when we got to the marriott center we realized there was honestly no way we could have squeezed him in those seats with us. our seats were almost the worst ones in the place. and they weren't really seats - they were benches.

but hey, we all know the nosebleeds are where the best fans are, right?

unfortunately, it turns out that the nosebleeds are also where the smelly people are.

the person sitting in front of us was by far the smelliest person we have ever encountered. we have absolutely no idea how someone could be so smelly. thank heavens for the blistex i had in my purse. matt gobbed it in his nose and i kept the bottle in sniffing range at all times. we still got a devastating wiff of nasty every once in a while, but that blistex was a lifesaver. otherwise, it would have been unbearable.

to prove my point: we planned on eating snacks at the game as our lunch/dinner so we were extra hungry when we got the the game. but we both agreed that there was no possible way that we could eat in such a rank environment. we had to wait until half time to grab food. and then we ate it standing out in foyer.

i wouldn't wish that foul experience on anyone.

but, on a more pleasant note, the cougars won, jimmer eventually got his act together and showed us what he's all about, and we have a good story to laugh about.

later that night we indulged in some cold stone. believe it or not, this was our first cold stone experience. we are experts when it comes to marble slab (the canadian version of cold stone), but this was a first for us. and i must say that marble slab's birthday cake ice cream doesn't even hold a candle to cold stone's cake batter. mmm.

there was a krispy kreme pretty much in our hotel parking lot. so, the next morning, matt needed a few of those. and i needed some of those silly hats they hand out..

we finished off our trip with a stroll around the provo temple.

we love road trips.

lately, i have heard a lot of people say they are tan. that bugs me.

this is tan:

this is tanned:

according to me (and dictionary.com - yes i looked it up!) you aren't tan.

you are tanned.

you can get a tan (noun).

and you can lay in the sun and tan (verb).

but you aren't tan.

after tanning you are tanned.

i think...

anywho, i bring this up because i went to a tanning salon today.

there is a salon across the street from our complex that has tempted me all winter.

and today i broke.

i went tanning.

and now i am burnt.

but it was worth it!

chet's cousin, kayla, bought him this superman outfit. thanks kayla!

my mom was here for the weekend. it was super.

i tried reeeally hard to trick her into staying longer. but no such luck.

anyone else in for a trip to rexburg: america's family community?

anyone?

and why the heck does chet like electrical cords so much? my word.

i got this email from my zumba instructor yesterday:

Our next Zumba class we will learn a new Belly Dance!! WHAHOO!!

See you there!

Liz

oh dear. was that supposed to get me excited for class?!

looks like i'll be embarrassing myself tuesday morning.

we haven't had chet measured by a doctor in a few months so we decided to take some of our own measurements to see where he sits on the growth charts. i think we got pretty accurate measurements, but i'm sure a doctor could have done better.

we did not factor in that he was premature for these measurements. this is just how he fits in with other boys his age:

height - 29 in - 50th percentile

weight - 19.3 lbs - 15th percentile

not too shabby..

until we measured his giant head.

his head is in the 85th percentile!

but we love his fuzzy head. it's very kissable.

chet got these fridge magnets this weekend from his grandma.

it's cute to watch him playing on his own. (and nice!).

i had no idea that there were so many different dinosaurs. chet's magnet set has 20 different dinosaurs. all with their own name.

i know that people have found dinosaur bones, but i still have a hard time believing in something so strange. i put dinosaurs in the same group as unicorns.

matt thinks that i'm ridiculous. but maybe that is because matt believes in unicorns.

but, no matter what anyone says, i don't believe in plesiosaurs..

no way.

hmmm.

i need to read up on the story behind groundhog day, because this is one sketchy looking fellow to be taking advice from.

however, if he says that spring will come early this year, i won't argue. the sooner i can get rid of winter the happier i will be.

we did book flights to arizona though. so, if he was wrong, at least i know i will be able to enjoy some sun come april. and our trip happens to fall on my birthday. my big two-five. so if any one wants to celebrate with me, come on down!

hold on tight, this is going to be quite the blog post.

actually it's not. but oh, how i wish that were true.

i have nothing very interesting to share. yet, i am still sharing. sorry.

"you take a block from the middle and you put it on top"

we played jenga this weekend. lots of jenga. that is the kind of thing we do on friday nights now that we have a child, we live in rexburg, and it's winter. we play jenga.

this is a picture of our 36 level tower.

the jenga box states that if you can get to 36 levels that you are considered an expert.

try to get higher, i dare you.

whenever chet was being miserable i used to be able to sneak away to a different room to enjoy a few minutes alone. but those days are gone. now he can drag his grouchy little self to my hideout in a back room. oh poo. he has mastered the army crawl. but even though it means no more hiding out, we are having lots of fun watching chet wiggle around.

click here if you would like to see.

my mom is coming to visit in 3 sleeps. she is our favorite (and only) visitor!