the leavitts.

i fell asleep while googling double strollers the other day.

literally, i woke up with my hands still on the keyboard.

i am officially an exhausted mom again... and i don't even have my little guy home yet!

holden is still a little pip-squeek but he is getting a little bit stronger every day.

i know this next picture is blurry, but it shows how little holden is.

i thought he might be able to fit into some of chet's pre-shrunk newborn clothes... but nope!

this is a newborn onesie laying on holden. you can't even see his feet out the bottom!

eating is still the main thing we need to work on.

this is his very first bottle. despite the smile on matt's face, it was not a very successful feed..

holden ate a lame 3mL on his own that night. not too impressive!

but he has done a little better with nursing the past couple days.

hopefully he will keep it up.

eating is just such hard work. holden prefers to sleep.

he is the best little snuggle bug.

on sunday we took chet into the hospital to hang with his brother for a few minutes.

i can't wait for holden to come home so that chet can spend more time with him.
this is all still very confusing for chet's 2-year old brain. and for good reason.

so far these brothers have maybe spent 30 minutes together - in 2.5 weeks. it makes me sad.
i even have a hard time feeling like holden is mine when i am supervised during diaper changes, i have never bathed him, and i got in trouble for falling asleep while holding him. ugh!
chet really did like holding his baby brother this visit though.

yes, that is a mustache on matt's face :(

and then eventually the spinny chair was more exciting..

grandma and holden.

i usually spend about 6-7 hours/day at the hospital. most of them are when chet is sleeping.
[before he wakes up, during his nap, and after bedtime]

i definitely don't feel like i get enough time with holden.

it was much easier to spend all my time at the hospital when chet was in the NICU because i didn't have another kid at home to love.

this time around i feel torn between chet and holden. i want to spend my time with both of them.

i know holden doesn't necessarily care if i am with him, but i sure do.
chet, on the other hand, definitely notices when i'm not there.
he was pretty ticked with me for the first week or two of holden's life. it has been really tough on me.
chet and i have always been such good buddies and now he has replaced me with grandma.
i can't complain too much though... we would be in major trouble without all the help my mom has given us.
and i am sure i will win chet back once life settles down!

here are a few pictures of chetty some fun things.
[bike riding, splash pad, eating out of a truck, swimming with dad, talking to bugs.]